Stress is created when you continually hit barriers.
Dr. Joan Pastor’s original Flower Technique is one tool for how to cope with stress and achieve success.
These tips not only relate to stress in the entertainment industry, but stress at work, and stress at home. Health psychological may need to answer what is a life coach.
Dr. Joan Pastor appeared with Suzanne Lyons to present Tip #9 in the series on how to deal with stress in the entertainment industry..
Dr. Joan described how to use The Flower, a tool she has developed in private practice to help clients manage negative emotions. For this she recommends drawing a daisy. “Choose two colors: One you like and one you don’t. Draw the outline of the flower’s center using the color you don’t like.”
“Write a negative core belief in the flower’s center.” Dr. Joan’s first tip, writing a Dump Sheet–detailed in the previous video–will help you determine what those recurring negative core beliefs are. A negative core belief is something that keeps coming up in you as a barrier to achieving success.
The cause of this negative belief is not important. However flawed, this belief served a purpose for you that is now in your way. It feels completely real to you even if it actually isn’t.
Now the petals of The Flower. “Use the color you like to draw the outline of 4-6 petals,” Dr. Joan said. Don’t fill them in with words yet. You have to do more process before you do that.
On separate paper, record memories of past positive events. Try to use events that come to mind when you think of the work you do, but don’t censor too much. Write a paragraph for each event describing details: What was the achievement or recognition? What did you do to make the event happen? Describe your face, posture other descriptions that help you relive the event. Detail your feelings, thoughts, memories, and emotions.
An event can be as simple as finding a pen that flows well so you feel like a writer. It can be meeting a person who believes in you and you remember as a mentor. It can be a time you were recognized in school for possessing a certain skill.
Don’t censor. “There may be a voice inside your head that says, ‘That wasn’t significant,’” Dr. Joan warned. If it came to your mind, it is significant. Don’t evaluate. Just write your paragraphs.
Review the paragraphs every night before you go to bed. You will notice each event “solidify.” It becomes real, something you claim as your own. Now transfer it to one of the petals on The Flower. Condense your previous description into a few words for this. Continue until all your petals are filled in.
Now the serious work with The Flower begins. Once a day for 30 days, look at your paper intently. See all of it but try to make the petals come closer to you than the center. “Bring the petals forward,” Dr. Joan said. “Don’t try to make the center go away. It is also part of your thinking.” During the 30 days, your mind will come to recognize your assets are more powerful than the core belief that was a barrier and held you back.
And now your “homework”: Deliberately create more positive events that reinforce your new reality. Surround yourself with people you love and who support you. Be curious. As problems come up, be open to what you can learn. “How can I educate myself?” Your premise is Yes! I AM able and can find the resources I need to figure out my life.
Overview of The Flower Technique
What You’ll Need:
- Several Sheets of Paper
- Pen for writing
- 2 Markers, pens, or colored pencils – One in a color you don’t like, one in a color you love
- Draw the center of a flower in the color you don’t like
- Draw 4-6 petals using the color you do like
- Identify a core negative belief that is repeatedly holding you back
(Last week’s Dump Sheet exercise is very helpful for this step)
- On a separate sheet of paper, list several positive, real, true events and memories that are significant to you
- Expand them, write a paragraph or so about your thoughts, feelings, sights, sounds, emotions
- Review the paragraphs every night before you go to bed. Focus on the first one until it really sticks. Once it solidifies in your mind, write a short summary on one of the flower petals
Continue this process, one memory or event at a time, until all the petals are filled.
- Once a day for 30 days, look at the flower and visualize the petals coming forward, and the center moving backward.
After a month, you will be able to subconsciously move the positive aspects of your life to the forefront, and not give the negatives as much weight. Give it a shot, you’ll be amazed at the transformation!